Like this:

It’s hard to believe that I’m finally able to write this post!  You see, I’ve been walking around with a BIG — okay, actually pretty tiny — secret for quite awhile now.  And I have to admit that it’s bittersweet in it’s own way revealing this secret to you all.  Before today, just Marc, our families, a few close friends, and I had this insider information.  It was like we had taken our own vow of silence.  Sharing this tidbit with the big ol’ Blogosphere doesn’t make it any less special, of course…just different.  But it is definitely with sheer and unbridled excitement that I announce to you all now that Marc and I are HAVING A BABY!

It has been so hard to keep this from everyone, and we’ve found ourselves many times along the way thinking, “You know what?  Let’s just spill it!”  I’m glad we waited, though – glad we took the time to let it be our own little shared experience.  But now, the cat’s out of the bag.

Many of you who are close to us know that getting to this point hasn’t been an easy journey.  Last spring (as in March 2006), we decided to give it a go.  Unfortunately, my rheumatoid arthritis had to throw a wrench in things from the beginning.  The medicine I used to take for my RA is a pregnancy Category X drug, which means that it is strictly forbidden while trying to become pregnant.  So I stopped the medicine, and we waited out the three months for it to completely flush out of my system.  And wishful thinking led me to stop my other arthritis medicines, as well, hoping that perhaps I could rally through without the meds and get pregnant quickly.  I was wrong….with a capital “W.”  After about five weeks off the medicine, I was barely able to function.  My RA had returned with a vengeance, and I felt even worse than before I was diagnosed.  So I grudgingly started steroid therapy and eventually began an anti-TNF injectible arthritis medicine (Enbrel) in the fall that is considered safe for pregnancy.  And we kept trying…and trying…and trying.

And then…FINALLY!  Our good news came — as it so often does — at the point when we had finally reached a crossroad.  Would we begin submitting to more invasive fertility tests?  Were we ready to make the emotional and financial investment in fertility treatments that often hold no guarantees?  Was it time to start considering adoption?  We really weren’t sure what the next step was going to be.  I can honestly say that I was getting to the point of questioning the damage that I knew I was doing to my body by continuing for over fifteen months without really treating my arthritis.  But I wasn’t ready yet to throw in the towel.  And then…there it was.  This amazing gift — this amazing blessing that was obviously meant to remind us that all things happen in His time…not ours.

It was just three weeks after Marc’s graduation and three days after his 30th birthday that we found out.  Just the day before, we had thrown Marc’s birthday/graduation party, and we decided to sleep in that morning.  Marc finally dragged himself out of bed and went to the gym…while I slept.  (I’ve been doing a LOT of that!)  When I woke up, I decided that I was going to go ahead and test.  So I got my strip, did my thing, and started the clock.  As I walked back in to check on it, I just had this feeling and then there it was…my second pink line…after twelve months.  At that point, I think I officially kicked myself for testing while Marc was away; but at least it allowed me to come up with a sweet way to tell him the news.  (*You’ll have to ask him to share the story sometime.*)

So here we are!  As I said before, we’re so happy to be sharing this news with you!  Throughout our baby journey, I’ll be posting on this blog to share all about Bean (as we’ve already so fondly come to know him/her) and the adventures that we’re experiencing.  Be sure to bookmark the page and check back for “Growing Stories from a Growing Belly.”  I’m sure there will be plenty to share between now and February 16th, 2008! 

P.S.  Thank you to everyone for your constant support and prayers!  It has been a continual source of encouragement and has meant so much to Marc and I during the months leading up to now.  We ask for your continued prayers for a safe and healthy nine months and beyond for Marc, Bean, and me.  We’re looking forward to sharing this time with you all.  With love always, Karen

Bean at 6 weeks, 3 days

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